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older!rings!cast!join!sign!contact!rank!bmd, inc! redniko*cubicle girl*kuinileti*boy-ashamed*beautifulson*torrez*the fool*the silence*blue kitten*ewige*reality is shy*spanklin*penguin queen*the darkness < -- > |
| 04/16/06*04/16/06b*04/16/06c*8/13/02*08/03/02 | 1:31 p.m. wow, i write something a little sexy like and all of a sudden 49 pages view in a day. pathetic to some? maybe. new record for me though. and only 4 of them were from people finding my page looking for anorexic girl pics. maybe if i put a pic up, i'll call it anorexic girl pic and laugh my hearty chuckle when they see me, so very not anorexic. oh well. go wack off to calista flockhart. after many an ill communication (heheheeheh, i love the beastie boys), finally got to meet nick and he's not nearly the freak he coulda been. =:-) we chatted and awkardly paused and wondered just exactly was running thru the other's head being that this person has access to the deepest recesses of your brain that not even your best friend does. he knew everybody who walked by and thoughtfully introduced me each time someone stopped to chat. nice to meet someone with manners every now and then. and a great smile. all the way up to his eyes. it was weird cuz i did the you've got mail meeting thing...i'm wearing exactly this and i'll be outside here and reading this book when you walk up...and he just kinda stared at me for like 5 secs, almost like he was studying me because i wasnt what he expected? i dont know. the conversation wasn't nearly as stilted as i expected and that was good, too. i always enjoy meeting people who can speak on a variety of subjects and have enough interest in me or the conversation to not let it lag. that's one of the first ways someone can tell if i'm completely not interested in them is if i make no attempt to keep the conversation moving. i may not be all that great at picking topics all the time, but if i try, i at least dont find that person totally devoid of value. i found myself analyzing our conversation more than most, i guess because of the nature of our introduction. i noticed that when i would ask a question like did you go to one of those really big high schools, he would say no and talk a little bit about it but never name it. little things like that. i began doing it, too. i dont know if i do that all the time or what. i always notice when someone uses my name a lot in the conversation because i have a tendency to not refer to people by name when i'm looking at them. it always catches me off guard when someone calls me by name when i'm staring straight at them. i dont know why. we talked about censoring online diaries cuz you know people you know are reading it. there are two reasons i dont do that...one, none of my offline (read-real life) friends know the address of my online diary and i know they would respect me enough not to read it(or at least pretend they didnt) if they did. and secondly, this is the place where i write down what i think so i can work thru things and not forget things because sometimes things are just more clear if you see them in black and white (well, blue and white here). i might start censoring if i knew someone i knew was reading this. some people have no idea that i have ever tripped or kissed a girl or even had sex for that matter and they might have a few illusions shattered should they ever find my cyber nook. to meet me, most people's first impression is that i'm a preppy, conservative, slighty ditzy, but more sorority girly type person. some people never get past that. it doesnt bother me as much as it used to. most of the time. cuz i told you that i loved you, and there aint no more to say. �����-tracey chapman < -- > |
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